Galentine’s Day 2024

Photo credit: Jakob Owens|@jakobowens1

Girlfriends are your sounding board, your shoulder to cry on, your tough love, and your love when it’s tough. Lord knows I’d be lost without my ride-or-die besties (for real), which is why I celebrate ‘us’ every chance I get.

Between careers, kids, way too many meetings, deadlines and demands, it’s critical that we pause to pour into ourselves and reconnect with the “us” that existed long before everything else. Can you remember those people? If you can’t, it’s time to reintroduce yourselves, unwind together, and have a little fun.

Galentine’s Day is just that opportunity to shine some light on your girls, slow down for a few laughs, and spread some love.

If you’re getting the ladies together at home for dinner, my Broiled Lobster Tails with Garlic Dijon Butter is simple to prepare, delicious, and sure to earn you points for presentation. Add an easy-peasy green salad dressed with my Red Wine Lemon Vinaigrette, and voilà, dinner is served.

Pucker up and pair it with a Sparkling Raspberry Kiss — prosecco and raspberry sorbet garnished with fresh raspberries — followed by my decadent Molten Lava Chocolate Cakes (because calories don’t count on Galentine’s Day).

Recipes and work aside, let’s get on the phone, make the calls, send the texts, and gather our tribes. House slippers or stilettos, Netflix or a night out, get ready to CELEBRATE US!

Happy Galentine’s Day!

XOXO,

DBH

photo credit: Kelsey Chance | @kchance8

Mingle, Jingle & Rock the Bells

By Dontrey Britt-Hart

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Here’s a little holiday gift to move you through your workday, liven up your home, help “sleigh” your commute and add some sparkle ✨ to your weekend.

Happy December D&D Fam! ❤️💚

Mother's Day Wishes 2021

By Dontrey Britt-Hart

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The three who made me a mother . . . Jonah, Aidan and Matthew.

Welcome to May, my friends. It’s the season of slightly warmer weather, budding flowers and trees, college decision days, graduations and Memorial Day (the unofficial start of summer). Wait. I believe I missed something. Ah, yes, Mother’s Day. Doesn’t it just slide up on you sometimes, almost unannounced? Well, it’s here. In days. Four more, to be exact.

And while it is a celebratory time for women who, as Maya Angelou so poetically described, spend their days looking after their children and anybody else who needs to be looked after, it can also be a bittersweet occasion. Tough for those who never bore a child, for those who lost a child, for those whose mothers are no longer on this side of heaven, and for those with special, complicated mother-child relationships. For these individuals, Mother’s Day is one they wish would come and go as quickly as spring.

But I come today to offer a renewed perspective with the hope that we can all find the beauty in this weekend of maternal merriment.

 First, let’s reconsider what the word mother truly means. Yes, it is without a doubt the woman who gave you life. As a mom of three who is also a daughter to a mom who bore three, I would not dilute the significance of carrying a child. But I would never diminish the truth that women become mothers in many ways – through nurturing, guidance, upliftment, education and affection. It is in the looking after and the sacrificing and the loving that true motherhood is born. So, I would dare say if there is a woman in your life – genetically connected or not – who has offered these gifts to you, then she has been a mother to you. And if you have shaped the life of a child with your time and thoughtfulness and care, you have mothered. Mother is both a noun and a verb, and it is the latter that is the true hallmark of motherhood.

 We all have the capacity to give and receive love, to be of service to others, and to consider someone’s feelings over and beyond our own. And when we do this, we are living out the true meaning of the holiday. 

 This year, I ask you to lift a glass and wave a hand of praise for the woman and every woman who has ‘brought their whole selves to you,’ for they are your mothers.

 May there be much happiness on your Mother’s Day.

Hugs,

Dontrey

Mother's Day (Secret) Must-Have Wish List

By Dontrey Britt-Hart

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Photo Credit: Dontrey Britt-Hart

We’re days away from the national celebration of moms everywhere, and boy, do mothers deserve a day of recognition. Florists are stocking up on roses, tulips, hydrangeas and carnations. Grocers are stacking boxes of chocolates tied in satin and grosgrain ribbons. And retailers everywhere are screaming, “Sales! Sales! Sales!”

We’re days away from the national celebration of moms everywhere, and boy, do mothers deserve a day of recognition. Florists are stocking up on roses, tulips, hydrangeas and carnations. Grocers are stacking boxes of chocolates tied in satin and grosgrain ribbons. And retailers everywhere are screaming, “Sales! Sales! Sales!”

Perfume, slippers, facial masks. Get ‘em while they’re hot. It’s a frenzy akin to the winter holiday season without the holiday music and decorations.

So let me offer a few words of advice before you run yourself ragged: Slow down. Take a breath. And think about what the moms in your life really want: heartfelt gratitude, a moment of peace, and thoughtfulness that extends past the second Sunday in May. (OK, so maybe we’d like the chocolates and the facial mask, too, but stick with me.) With all that we as mothers pour into our children, most of us would love some affirmation that,  in the words of Tupac, “we are appreciated.” You can’t wrap this in a box or toss it in your Amazon cart, but I guarantee you that it will bring a smile to her soul.

You know your mom better than I, so you’ll need to get creative on what gratitude, peace and thoughtfulness mean to her; but I’ll get you started with a few ideas of my own: 

1.     The gift of not having to plan what to eat. Yes, I said it. Even those of us who enjoy cooking don’t want the responsibility of planning every single meal 365 days a year, so I can imagine the masses are pulling the elastic out of their cafeteria hair nets thinking about what’s for dinner, especially after a year at home in quarantine. Take the pressure away by gifting a book of Dinner’s-on-Me coupons to the Mama Chef in your life.

Photo Credit: Unsplash

2.     The gift of a TIME-OUT. Ah, you thought those were only for naughty toddlers, huh? Mamas need time-outs, too. We WANT time-outs. Present your deserving madre with at least four time-outs* of her choice to be used in the coming months. (This is obviously a gift for those with small or school-aged children at home and requires the support of a loving adult. Loving adults, this is your hint to step in and give mama a break.) *4-hour minimum

3.     The gift of technology-free time. Now we’re getting to the teenagers and young adults. Yes, you. Without Snapchat, TikTok or IG, spend an afternoon with your okaasan doing whatever she wants to do with you. Think of it as her personal “Yes Day” and you’re the genie making wishes come true.

photo credit: dontrey britt-hart

4.     The gift of a love letter. Your love language does not have to be words of affirmation to value written expressions of affection. Those scribblings of backward letters and crayon-colored hearts melted us to tears when you were young and your grown-up versions of well-typed notes or neatly written cards mean just as much today, if not more. So toss the texts this week, grab a piece of beautiful paper and craft a few lines of love to your ema.

Now that I’ve got you started on your way, the rest is up to you. Whether you call her meme, majka, manman, mutter, ibu, maminka, ahm or mzazi, just be sure to call her, give her what she’s secretly wishing for (note suggestions above) and remind her just how much she’s loved. (Feel free to toss in the flowers, too.)

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

Celebrating Sisters of the Skies

By Dontrey Britt-Hart

On this final day of Women’s History Month, Denim & Damask salutes Sisters of the Skies, “an organization comprised of professional black women pilots who represent less than 1/2 of 1% of the total professional pilot career field” (https://www.sistersoftheskies.org).

Yes, out of roughly 670,000 active certified pilots in the United States, only 150 (1-5-0) are black women. These 150 pilots include airline transport, commercial, military and certified flight instructors.

While these numbers are abysmal, the mission of Sisters of the Skies is something to celebrate: welcoming and educating young women into the aviation industry through mentorship, professional development, STEM, outreach, and scholarships.

Photo Credit: Sisters of the Skies

This year also marks 100 years of the first history-making moment in aviation for women of color, as Bessie Coleman, an American aviator, earned her pilot’s license in France on June 15, 1921, making her the first American of any race or gender to earn an international pilot’s license from the highly respected Federation Aeronautique International.

Thank you, Sisters, of the Skies, for paving the way, for reaching back, and for making us proud. Thank you, Bessie, for seeing beyond your circumstances, your race, and your gender and allowing nothing to deter you from achieving the seemingly impossible.

Today’s lesson:

Believe you can fly, spread your wings and bring someone along for the ride.

Get Your AP Squad!

By Dontrey Britt-Hart

I’m sure most of us could rattle off numerous clichés, proverbs and maxims on the power of teamwork: 1. Teamwork makes the dreamwork. 2. If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together. 3. Many hands make light work. And the list goes on. As familiar and straightforward as these gems of truth are, we hear them and roll our eyes, chalking the words up to bumper-sticker slogans with little value. Well, the truth is while the phrases may be trite, the benefits are proven. Having an accountability partner (AP) is the secret sauce in a recipe called success.

I first heard the term “AP” in the mid-to-late 90s during a sermon by Pastor Frank Thomas at New Faith Baptist Church in Matteson, IL. This was long before #squadgoals or #mysquad because social media didn’t exist; fortunately, social networks always have. Pastor Thomas’s message conveyed the importance of having an AP to spur your spiritual growth, encourage you during times of trial, and celebrate with you during seasons of triumph. Proverbs 27:17 puts it this way, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” My AP at the time was that extra motivation on Sunday mornings when the pull of a warm bed and the thought of a 40-minute drive to church might have kept me in my PJs. Just knowing that someone was expecting me to show up gave me that loving kick in the pants to follow through on what I said I would do.

What began as a tool to strengthen my walk with Christ became a secret weapon that I wielded to slay in the gym, excel in the office and enhance my personal relationships. As disciplined, driven and dedicated as I thought I was, my game was undoubtedly elevated by having an AP. Some of you are probably saying, “I’ve got this on my own. I don’t need another person to motivate me.” And I won’t argue with you on that, but I assure you that having the right people on your squad will push you to higher levels.

Let’s use exercise as an example: outside of the extreme, get-it-done-all-the-time-no-matter-what types, how many of us put in that little bit of something extra when we’re working out in a group versus alone in front of the TV? Even if you can’t gather in person right now in light of the pandemic, you’re still likely to do more if there’s someone high-fiving you on screen, downward dogging on Zoom or waiting for your I-did-it text; simply being accountable to someone else improves productivity.

And you don’t have to limit yourself to one AP for one specific goal, because you’re not one-dimensional. I have my fitgirl APs, my ladies who cook, my former-PR-forever-friend m1 girls, my mom squad and Bible study sisters, my travel crew and my trusted inner circle. Together we have healed relationships, launched businesses, raised children, supported marriages, grieved losses, crossed finish lines, circled the globe and protected our homes. We have agreed and disagreed and found peace somewhere in the middle. (Important note: Your AP CANNOT be a “yes” person and should not support everything you do, if it’s not for your greater good.) And it goes without saying that not every acquaintance, friend or family member qualifies to serve as an AP, because not every relation is ready for your elevation. This is where prayers for discernment come in. You likely wouldn’t trust just anyone to watch your home, your pet or your child. The dreams you have for yourself – small or great – are equally precious and should only be handed over to someone you deem trustworthy, dependable, consistent and candid.

Photo Credit: Unsplash

Benefits of having an AP:

1.     Support system – With the right people at your side, you’ll have your very own cheering section to encourage you as you make progress, a sounding board to listen as you work through challenges and a voice of reason to provide honest feedback.

2.     Extra eyes on you – Knowing that there is at least one person keeping watch over you and your goals pushes you to follow through on the promises you’ve made to yourself.

3.     Clarity – When you have to explain your plans to someone else, you must clarify what those goals are and how you plan to reach them.

4.     Better productivity – Having an AP urges you to set clear deadlines and produce tangible proof of your development. 

5.     Resources – We all bring an assortment of gifts and resources to the table, so partnering with the right AP expands your access to new ideas, people and resources.

6.     Shared journey – There is power in a collective experience of wins and losses and lessons learned along the way, and this bond of sisterhood should never be underestimated. We are stronger together.

So, come on, ladies. Let’s get those #Squadgoals!