Mother's Day (Secret) Must-Have Wish List

May 4

By Dontrey Britt-Hart

We’re days away from the national celebration of moms everywhere, and boy, do mothers deserve a day of recognition. Florists are stocking up on roses, tulips, hydrangeas and carnations. Grocers are stacking boxes of chocolates tied in satin and grosgrain ribbons. And retailers everywhere are screaming, “Sales! Sales! Sales!”

Perfume, slippers, facial masks. Get ‘em while they’re hot. It’s a frenzy akin to the winter holiday season without the holiday music and decorations.

So let me offer a few words of advice before you run yourself ragged: Slow down. Take a breath. And think about what the moms in your life really want: heartfelt gratitude, a moment of peace, and thoughtfulness that extends past the second Sunday in May. (OK, so maybe we’d like the chocolates and the facial mask, too, but stick with me.) With all that we as mothers pour into our children, most of us would love some affirmation that, in the words of Tupac, “we are appreciated.” You can’t wrap this in a box or toss it in your Amazon cart, but I guarantee you that it will bring a smile to her soul.

You know your mom better than I, so you’ll need to get creative on what gratitude, peace and thoughtfulness mean to her; but I’ll get you started with a few ideas of my own:

1. The gift of not having to plan what to eat. Yes, I said it. Even those of us who enjoy cooking don’t want the responsibility of planning every single meal 365 days a year, so I can imagine the masses are pulling the elastic out of their cafeteria hair nets thinking about what’s for dinner, especially after a year at home in quarantine. Take the pressure away by gifting a book of Dinner’s-on-Me coupons to the Mama Chef in your life.

2. The gift of a TIME-OUT. Ah, you thought those were only for naughty toddlers, huh? Mamas need time-outs, too. We WANT time-outs. Present your deserving madre with at least four time-outs* of her choice to be used in the coming months. (This is obviously a gift for those with small or school-aged children at home and requires the support of a loving adult. Loving adults, this is your hint to step in and give mama a break.) *4-hour minimum

3. The gift of technology-free time. Now we’re getting to the teenagers and young adults. Yes, you. Without Snapchat, TikTok or IG, spend an afternoon with your okaasan doing whatever she wants to do with you. Think of it as her personal “Yes Day” and you’re the genie making wishes come true.

4. The gift of a love letter. Your love language does not have to be words of affirmation to value written expressions of affection. Those scribblings of backward letters and crayon-colored hearts melted us to tears when you were young and your grown-up versions of well-typed notes or neatly written cards mean just as much today, if not more. So toss the texts this week, grab a piece of beautiful paper and craft a few lines of love to your ema.

Now that I’ve got you started on your way, the rest is up to you. Whether you call her meme, majka, manman, mutter, ibu, maminka, ahm or mzazi, just be sure to call her, give her what she’s secretly wishing for (note suggestions above) and remind her just how much she’s loved. (Feel free to toss in the flowers, too.)

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!