Gratitude for All Seasons

D&D Blog Post

Mar 24

By Dontrey Britt-Hart

Spring equinox arrived March 20, 2021, commemorating a fresh start – what I call our “first season of celebration” – where we are grateful for the little things later ignored in the full bloom of summer: sunny days, the emergence of green leaves and brightly colored flowers, the chance to sit outside and gather with friends.

It’s the time of year when school is drawing to a close and graduations, weddings and family BBQs dot the weekends on our calendars. For a few moments, we give thanks for the simple pleasures of life. Then, without warning, indifference returns, closing our eyes to the blessings in our midst.

As the cooler winds of fall blow in, so does “the second season of celebration” – the one that begins in November with Thanksgiving and ends somewhere around the New Year. Most of us are intentional about giving back – volunteering at food pantries, extending more grace on the expressways and the hallways, smiling a little more and fussing a little less, sharing our favorite family recipes of sweet potato pie, our signature pound cake and that appetizer that immediately disappears two minutes after we pull it out of the oven. We’re hosting parties and wrapping gifts. We carve out protected space on our calendars to slow down and spend time – real, uninterrupted time – with our family and friends. Yes, there is some stress, but we balance it with holiday movies under cozy blankets and late-night laughter around the kitchen table. We’re grateful. And sometimes, we even take the time to sincerely share our appreciation with those who’ve made a difference in our lives. It’s another season that comes and goes. And then we slip into the lull of winter, waiting for spring again, waiting for something to bring joy.

This seasonal, off-again-on-again happiness is draining, depressing and, quite honestly, not how we were meant to live. So, what happens when the party’s over and the lights are turned up? James Ingram and Patti Austin asked it a better way: “How do you keep the music playing?” I’ll tell you: everyday GRATITUDE.

Sadly, gratitude has become one of those buzzwords like mindfulness, wellness and life hack. We hear it. We use it at the end of an Instagram post. We pull up our Calm or Headspace app, check our “Zen” box and move on with our day. But unlike the passing fads of diets, hemlines and hashtags, gratitude is a timeless virtue that existed long before any of us took our first breaths and will persist into days we will never see.

Gratitude was first defined as “goodwill.” Simply explained today, it is “the feeling of being thankful.” I don’t know about you, but this is one of the first lessons I learned as a child – please and thank you. We gave thanks at dinner, at bedtime, when we traveled, when we made it safely back home and even when times were hard, my grandmother would say, “I’m gonna thank God anyway.”

To be honest, I didn’t always understand or appreciate all of the thank yous my mother and grandmother doled out during the course of a day. But with time, I came to realize that gratitude – true gratitude – is much more than words; it’s a way of being. And it’s here where happiness and kindness and forgiveness come easily. It’s second nature. It’s involuntary. It’s like breathing. But it takes practice and intention to get there. Just as we squat and plank to tighten up our glutes and abs, we have to do the work to build our magnanimous muscles, too.

So, here’s today’s “workout,” including thoughts to ponder:

- Stop and think about the last time you called someone just to say thank you. Can’t remember? Today’s your day to pick up the phone to tell a loved one, a friend, your mother, your brother, whoever that special person is in your life how much they mean to you.

- When’s the last time you opened your mailbox and found something other than a bill or junk mail? A note or a card just to brighten your day? Didn’t that feel good? Now it’s your turn to spread the love: send a note of appreciation to one of your faves this week. (Handwritten notes are a dying art form, and you can’t tuck a text message away in a keepsake box.)

- Look in the mirror and affirm yourself. If we could all be as kind to ourselves as we are to those we love most, we’d really be on to something

- Name two things you’re thankful for at the end of each day this week.

For some of you, this may be getting a bit too warm and fuzzy, maybe even too pie-in-the-sky, so let’s get to some hard facts on gratitude. A study documented in Forbes listed seven scientifically proven benefits of gratitude – benefits that could tremendously improve your quality of life:

1. Gratitude opens the door to more relationships. – Two of the simplest words you can say – thank you – actually makes someone more likely to seek an ongoing relationship with you.

2. Gratitude improves physical health. – I’m not suggesting you ditch your gym membership or will never need to pop an Ibuprofen, but grateful people experience fewer aches and pains and are more likely to take care of their health than their crabbier counterparts.

3. Gratitude improves psychological health. – It reduces a multitude of toxic emotions, ranging from envy and resentmentto frustration and regret.

4. Gratitude enhances empathy and reduces aggression.

5. Grateful people sleep better. – Spending 15 minutes to jot down a few grateful sentiments before bed may help you sleep better and longer.

6. Gratitude improves self-esteem. – Studies have shown that gratitude reduces social comparisons. Bye-bye FOMO! (Feelings of Missing Out)

7. Gratitude increases mental strength. – Gratitude not only reduces stress, but it may also play a significant role in overcoming trauma. Recognizing all you have to be thankful for – even during the worst times of your life – fosters resilience.

With all that we’ve been through over the past 365 days, it’s safe to say that we could all use a quality-of-life booster to extend our joy beyond two periods per year. “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens” (Ecclesiastes 3:1). Regardless of the season we are in – spring or fall, celebratory or challenging, close together or socially distanced, abundant or lacking – my hope is that we cherish the warmth of the sun, the chill of snowflakes and the blowing winds of change, filled to overflowing with gratitude.